July of 2007 my sweet little angel was born. She was a pretty big baby, weighing in at 8lbs 13oz, and had a beautiful head of black hair. Fast forward 4 years, and now I have a midget nazi on my hands dictating the house. She's about 3 1/2 feet of crazy! She doesn't say please and thank you unless I repeatedly remind her. She's dirty! Like dirt under her fingernails and toenails! She hardly ever goes outside; where is the dirt coming from?!?! Her hair looks like she is a homeless orphan. Just wild and crazy looking, and that's after it's brushed! She snores in her sleep like a baby gorilla! So much for Claratin! Her feet stink. OMG I take her socks off and am momentarily reminded of port a potties! She never cleans up after herself. She rams her head into my stomach and punches at me when I pick her up from school, as if that is our official handshake. She whines! Oh God does she whine, and the pitch keeps getting higher and higher. She wants and wants and wants! She jumps on all the furniture even though she has a perfectly good trampoline that she could use. She can scream until she turns blue, and that is just for fun! When she's angry she stomps her feet and growls. She throws around the word fat too much, and teases her baby cousin. She steals toys from her and yells "no, mine"! She hardly eats her dinner anymore, I'm thinking a growth spurt is in our future.
At night when she is sleeping, she has horrible night terrors. I scoop her up into my arms and repeatedly reassure her that I am her mommy because she is still asleep and can't see me even though her eyes are open. I rock her back and forth until she has calmed down and can peacefully go back to sleep. And that when I see my sweet little angel never left in the first place.
Next time: If you had unlimited amounts of money, what would you do with it?
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