When I started college many years ago, I was faced with a challenge . . . pick a major! I wanted to follow in my father's footsteps and be a Police Officer. Actually, in 8th grade I met a Federal Agent, and wanted to go into the FBI. Criminal Justice sounded like a good major. In reality it was my freshman year and I didn't have to pick a major right away, but I wanted to start off with focus and a plan. My senior year in high school I was able to take concurrent credits so I had already completed English 101-102. I had to choose math, a major course (Criminal Justice 101), a science, and some other class that would fulfill some requirement. I choose Intro to Psychology.
That was it for me! My second semester I thought I'd try to take another Criminal Justice class and keep going with that major, but OH MY GOD it was so boring! That same semester I took Abnormal Psychology, and I was completely blown away! Every semester I tried to take as many Psychology courses as I could until I had taken all the classes that were offered, and then I would switch to a different junior college. By the time I graduated from junior college with an Associate's Degree, I had attended 4 junior colleges!
I transferred all my credits to ASU and started up again, taking as many 300-400 level Psychology classes as I could. I had some credits to fill, so I thought I would pick up a minor in Sociology. If you don't know, there is a HUGE difference between Psychology and Sociology. Psychology teaches to treat the individual, whereas Sociology teaches to treat the population. Boy, did I get into some interesting conversations with my Sociology professors. While completing my final year, I started working "in the field" at a Residential Home for people with Serious Mental Illnesses (SMIs).
Working with people that have SMIs is different than learning about them in class. They are regular people that one day something snapped and their whole world came crashing down. It was an awakening for me, but one that reinforced my passion to work with these people. I could tell stories for days about my experiences working in the residential home, but that wasn't where this story ends. After I completed my Bachelor's Degree, I went to work for the Regional Behavioral Health Authority (RBHA) as a Case Manager. The team I worked with was called "Outpatient". This population consisted of people that had multiple times in and out of the local psych units and people that had previously been in the Arizona State Hospital (more commonly known as ASH).
Case Managers typically have a caseload consisting of 70-80 people, but in our department the caseloads were lower (around 35) because of the delicate nature of their particular mental illness. Some of my "clients" had varying types of schizophrenia, severe depression, bipolar mood disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, borderline personality and, as I previously mentioned, one person that is a sociopath. "The system" is, for lack of a better word, fucked up! We take these individuals, institutionalize them, and then try to reintroduce them to the world by teaching them social skills. I suppose it's better than what society used to do with the mentally ill, toss them in a sanitarium and forget about them, but it's not much better.
Arizona has come a long way in establishing some sort of mental health care, but we still have a long way to go. Working with SMIs in a capacity where I did not do direct care, such as a doctor or nurse, I felt like my hands were tied when I tried to give them real help. I mean who was I, but a person with only a Bachelor of Science. So I decided to go to nursing school. I want to be in the trenches with them, and by that I mean I want to work at ASH. I want to hold their hands and help them realize that the voices aren't real even though they sound real. I want to help them function and not be afraid. It's all selfish, I'm doing this all for me. I can not express the feeling that I get when I know that I am helping another human being feel like it's ok to live. It is so gratifying.
Many times I have been told that with my brain I could be an accountant like my brother, and make lots of money. Sure, money would be nice, but I would hate going to work every day. Although I hated all the stupid paperwork that i had to do at the RBHA, I loved my job. I loved the people that I worked for, my clients! I just want to what I love for the people that I love and advocate on their behalf as much as I can. And everyday I'm a little closer to doing that.
Next time: Bob
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