I have this recurring dream where I walk into my bedroom, and all the walls have a large velcro strip horizontally attached to them. So I walk up to one, take off my left arm, then turn and take off my right arm. Then I get into bed knowing I'm going to have a good night's rest without any shoulder pain. That is usually the point where I wake up, both arms fully attached, and in terrible pain. So much for dreams!
Growing up I have had a variety of physical ailments, most likely instigated by my years in sports. I actually had a pediatric physician tell me "God put you together wrong". Really? You are going to tell a child that? I have had so many MRIs, CAT-scans, and other types of X-rays that it really wouldn't surprise me if I glowed in the dark! As a young adolescent I was told by an x-ray technician to "spread eagle" so he could get a good shot of my hips. Note to any x-ray techs: Do not say this to a young girl on your table, just saying. Apparently I would have knee and hip pain because one of the muscles surrounding my knee cap grew at a quicker rate than the supporting muscle, which in turn would throw off the alignment of my legs. Months of physical therapy for that.
More recently, my pain comes from my shoulders. Sometimes I feel bad for my PCP because when I first started seeing him 10ish years ago, I was a mess! Bad knees, bad arms, headaches, anger outbursts, oi! He's great though. It took him a while but he has been resolving all my issues. He sent me to a pain specialist because livers do not like being on pain killers for extended periods of time, and, quick frankly, I think he got tired of treating me for that particular problem.
The first time I saw my pain specialist, I was really unsure, but she put me completely at ease. One of the first thing she checked was the alignment of my spine. She noted that it was slightly twisted so that it causes minimal distress on the nerves that lead from my spine to my shoulders. All that time that was spent giving me drugs and more steroid shots was a waste! She is my favorite doctor, I mean I love my PCP, but c'mon she really fixed me. Anyway, since my insurance does not cover chiropractors she pretty much has me on a maintenance plan. That means that every 6 months I go and see her and she asks if my pain has gotten worse or better, but since she started me on a medication regime I have been doing fairly well.
Every once in a while, however, and I really feel that it is somehow tied into my stress level, there is a shooting pain that goes through my arm. The pain is so intense that, if I wasn't afraid of bleeding to death, I would chop off my arm! That is why I would totally invest in a pair of detachable shoulders, and just cut out the middle man. However, the way my luck goes, something else would "flare up" or fall off or something. Oh well, it's a dream anyway!
Next time: Time to introduce the "baby daddy"
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