Good stuff to numb our minds!

I love to watch television. I love to see other people's imagination come alive for my entertainment. It's hard to find good shows though. Lately, however, there have been some really goods shows coming out, truly imaginative pieces of work. One of my favorite is The Walking Dead. It is never too early to start preparing for the zombie apocalypse, and this is the perfect show to watch for pointers. The characters are great, the storyline is superb, it is a show that needs to stay on for a while.

 

Another show I enjoy is Terra Nova. It's still starting out, but the premise is terrific. if you haven't watched, it's about a group of people that have traveled back in time to prehistoric Earth. The twist is that it's a different timeline than our own, that way they can't do anything to alter the future. They traveled back because the future is so messed up, the human race is attempting to start over. At the same time, there is a separate group that is trying to sabotage everything that the original settlers are trying to accomplish. So the whole time you watch, you're wondering "who really are the good guys"?

 

Recently, a new show has started that completely blows me away with every new episode they air. That show would be American Horror Story. Each episode ends leaving more questions to answer than have been resolved. It's confusing, but not in a frustrating way. It's about a family (father, mother, daughter) that moved into a house in California. What they didn't know was that the house is haunted, and the ghosts are very real. It is the kind of show that you really have to pay attention to everything in order to have some idea of what is happening; are we in the past, in the present, is that person alive, are they all ghosts?

 

Once Upon A Time also recently started, and is proving to be a genuinely good show. I keep wanting to know more, but then I realize once all the secrets are revealed, the show will be over. To sum up, The Evil Queen did a spell causing all of the characters in our favorite children's tales to be brought into our world, hence no happy endings. (Wow that's kind of sad even coming from The Evil Queen) Now that they are in our world, they have no memory of who they were. A young boy works each week to try to get people to remember who they were, and get his real mother (long back story) to break the curse of The Evil Queen.

 

Currently not playing because they run on a different schedule, are shows that I enjoy from the BBC. Doctor Who and Torchwood are must see tv! If you haven't heard of either of these shows, rent them and catch up! I really can't say too much about either of these shows without giving everything away, but Torchwood is a spinoff of Doctor Who. Also, they are both Sci-fi shows, so if you don't like sci-fi, don't bother, you won't understand it!

 

Each season brings something new, some creative form of someone's imagination. I can't wait to see what 2012 brings!

 

 

Next time: Where are all my packages?                                          

What's that in the air?? Must be craziness!

Sometimes I take entirely too much stuff onto my plate. This year I have decided to plan and make Christmas Eve dinner. Quite an enormous undertaking as it is. I blame Food Network. All their shows get my creative juices flowing, and usually it's a bit much for me to handle. So not only am I making our Friend's Christmas Dinner, but now I'm cooking for my family for Christmas Eve. Not my best plan. But I have my lists done.

Whenever I start to do something big, like cook dinner for a million, I start with making a list. What are the foods I want to prepare? Then I make an ingredients list, so I know what I need to buy at the store or if I already have it on hand in the kitchen. Then I shop. Then I prep. What item can I make first because it can sit, like cookies or cake, unlike soup which needs to be served hot? And this year I am making a lot of foods that I have never tried to make before so that should make things more interesting.

Plus, now that I have all the presents bought for Christmas, I have to wrap them. I suppose this week would be the best time to do that because after that I'll be cooking and baking for 2 weeks. I'm so excited for this year's Christmas, too. G is at a great age were she can really appreciate the magic of Christmas. 

Oi! I'm already tired and I haven't even started yet!

Next time: Good stuff to numb our minds!                                     

I just don't know anymore

Life is great and then throws a friggin' curve ball at you. I could really do without the curve ball for a bit! Just when I thought my shoulder was felling better that I could tell my Doctor that it was fine to transfer me back to my PCP, it starts acting up! Pain to the point that I want to remove my arm at the shoulder. No rhyme or reason as to what sets the pain off. It just comes, sticks around for a while, and then leaves again. I think with all the chaos in my head it had to come out somewhere and my shoulders are my stress point.

 

And then we had another fish die. It was either frick or frack, we're not sure, but the other one is fine. So I take, whoever it was, out of the tank, and G is cracking up. This is totally not how she reacted when the albino died. I asked her if she wanted to flush the toilet, and she was like "oh yeah"! Then she said, "well we'll just have to get a new one". Four and a half and this kid has a good grip on life and death, although simplistic, she understands. 

 

Now for tomorrow,my niece and I are taking our girls to see Santa and take their picture with him. It should be interesting at the least. Then we are taking them shopping to buy the other kids presents. (Torture!) Maybe we'll get some snow in the valley and it will semi improve this shitty week. We shall see.

 

 

Next week: What's that in the air?? Must be craziness!                                                

Tutor time, ugh!

It's kind of funny that last night I decided to write about tutoring because today I was notified that I wouldn't be tutoring anymore. It really sucks because that was my income, as little as it was, it was something. Apparently, one of the students I was tutoring was not doing any of her school work. She was doing her work while I was there, and nothing else during the week. She was told that she would be put on academic probation, but continued to slack off until they kicked her out of home school today. Her mother, my friend, figured that if she would be sending one girl back to public school, she might as well send them both back. Therefore, no more work for me.

 

Even though I did plenty of complaining, the job was good for me. It got me out of the house twice a week, and G was going to school while I tutored. I enjoyed doing math with her younger daughter. I think she was really understanding what I was teaching her. Now, because her older sister was selfish and lazy, everything is ruined.

 

How do you get kicked out of home school anyway? I mean, I hate to say it, but all you have to do is the work, and it isn't that hard. Granted I already completed school, but some of the work was just silly easy. It all comes down to kids feeling like they can do or say whatever they want to do without fear of consequences. last year, this same girl flunked out and had to redo the same grade over. You think she would have learned her lesson then, but apparently not! 

 

I'm feeling pretty down about this because I still haven't heard back from the judge. Even though I received a check for child support, I have no idea if I will be receiving any more. At least I took care of everything that G wanted for Christmas, and her happiness is all that really matters to me anyway.

 

 

Next time: I just don't know anymore                                                 

Aren't we supposed to lead by example?

What kind of a world are we leaving for our children? My daughter thinks it's perfectly normal to be raised in a single parent home. To add to it, she sees her cousin being raised the same way. They grow up watching the violence in movies, video games, on the news, and yet we expect them to behave like perfect little angels when they are among their friends. Some children go home where they are brutalized by their parents, and then when they return to school and bully other children, we ask why?

 

I fear the day that G has to start school. Not just because my baby will be a big girl, and it will be the start of her going out and exploring the world without me, but I'm worried how other children will treat her. I see other parents all over facebook talking about how their children are teased at school or physically abused by other kids and the parents don't know what to do. How have we lost the way to teach our children to respect others?

 

I know it's a stupid thought, but I just wish we could live in a world of peace. And I mean peace all the way down to the playground. It's just a pipe dream, but maybe if we instill in them the proper playground rules, they will take those rules to the adult world. Things so simple as sharing, using manners, not bullying, and always making the new kid feel welcome. Wouldn't that make the world so much better?

 

 

Next time: Tutor time, ugh!                                           

It's beginning to look a lot like . . . I'm gonna be spending a shitload on Christmas this year!

G has been looking through Toys R Us catalogs since they came out this year. She's been going through them with pens and pencils circling all the things she wants Santa to bring her this year. She has been getting so big lately, it's hard to see a four year old when I look at her. She is very smart for her age, and enjoys doing lots of things on her own. Very independent! So far she has asked for a new bicycle, a guitar, a dinosaur, a fijit (it's like a dancing robot), some Barbie dolls, etc. I want nothing more than to give her everything she wants, but sometimes too much stuff is really too much!

 

I'm trying to keep everything within reason. A new bicycle makes sense. Her last one was a tricycle. She loves riding it around, but will have more fun on this new bike she picked out. It has training wheels and a little basket on the front for a dolly. I don't know where she came up with the idea for a guitar, but I thought "why not". The one they had was for a fairly good price, and it has the chords lettered so she knows where to put her fingers. Hopefully she can play that better than her recorder, oy! I also got her some interactive video games to go to the Kinect system. I think she's gonna get a kick out of them. One is "Once Upon a Monster" and she gets to play with the Sesame Street characters. The other one is "Kinectimals". I don't really know a whole lot about that game, but I'm sure she'll love it. 

 

I also decided that I need to buy presents for my niece and nephews that live back East. I think my niece will enjoy what I got her, but I have no idea what to get for the boys. Then there are my nieces and nephews out here that I have to buy for. No one is telling anyone what the kids want! It's insane. I really don't like buying gift cards for Christmas. Also I ordered my mother's gift tonight. I'm so excited! I think she is gonna get a kick out of it, and hopefully use it. The dollar signs just keep adding up and up!

 

Honestly, though, I think that as long as G gets everything she wants for Christmas, that will be enough of a gift for me. Well that and those boots that I've had my eye on!

 

 

Next time: Aren't we supposed to lead by example?                                      

I might have to get on my SOAPBOX x4

I'm sorry to deviate, yet again, from my usual post, but I have found another subject that needs to be addressed. I was actually going to write about this the other day, but I need to take time for myself too, plus it gave me some time to really get my thoughts together better about this. The subject is the increase of child abuse and subsequent death. In Arizona, in the last year, I believe we have had  6, that we know of. That is six children, that their parents, abused to the point of death! What is the worst thing that these children could have done to deserve being killed? Now the general public is crying out for a major upheaval of Child Protective Services (CPS) because they feel that the social workers are not doing their jobs.

 

I have two points of view to look at this from. One is from the view of the social worker. As a former case worker myself, I can honestly say that there is not enough time to truly focus on everyone on your caseload, and sometimes people fall through the cracks. It's my understanding that a special task force will be started that will be fully trained on how to detect child abuse with out the child saying anything. This is something that we should have had in place a long time ago. CPS is completely overwhelmed with cases, they do not have the time to focus on which children are being abused and which ones are at risk. With different departments focusing on different children, maybe these children can be taken off the "at-risk watch list", and the other children can continue to live without fear of continued abuse. When I worked with people with mental illnesses, I had a small caseload, which allowed me to focus on all of my clients. However, most other case workers had caseloads over 100. This is, I'm sure, what the CPS caseworkers have to deal with. It's too many people for the amount of pay. Not that that should be an excuse, but when you pay mediocre wagers, you are bound to hire mediocre people. Another example from my old job, there was a woman that was so rude to the clients, she would treat them stupid and demean them. It was disgusting to watch. She was actually the reason I left that job. Someone needs to protect these children since it is quite apparent that their own parents choose not to, but a better system needs to be implemented or restructured so no child is left behind.

 

The other point is from that of a parent. Sometimes it is rough being a parent, especially a single parent. When G was young, I remember telling my mom that I can see why some parents shake their children. I never would, but when you are all alone with a child that won't stop screaming and crying it feels like the last resort. I had a great support system when G was little, so that if I felt like I was getting to that point, I could pass her to another relative. However, these parents that starve their children or beat them with belts and other objects, well that is just inexcusable. The latest child that was killed, was kept in a closet for days. Her older siblings described the odor coming from the closet as death, and the girl looked like a "zombie", I assume because she was gaunt from malnutrition. They mentioned not seeing her for a few weeks before her mother finally called the police saying she was kidnapped.

 

We have all seen this "show" before. Parent calls police stating that their child has been abducted. Weeks into the investigation, police focus more on the parent, and eventually it is found that the parent killed the child. It's getting old. The worst part is that when Casey Anthony was acquitted, I knew the nation was going to see an increase of child abuse/killings because the abusive parents knew they were going to be able to get away with it. What bothers me the most is why are these children being killed, when the parents can take them to a fire station or a hospital and leave them there. Why are these people having these children to abuse?

 

I love my G with all my heart. If I could have her sleep next to me so I could hear her breathe all night, I would be in Heaven. I wouldn't sleep, but I'd be in Heaven! I feed her first at dinner time. Any money I have goes towards buying things for her. I can't imagine loving anyone more that I love her. So as a mother that gave birth to my little angel, I  can not understand how other mothers can kill their little angels! Children need discipline, yes, but not torture and abuse. It just makes me so angry how people can do this to their own children! I'm more of an eye for an eye type of person, so I think that these abusers need some of their own medicine, but the country would never let us lock prisoners in a closet and starve them to death. It's immoral and illegal. Huh, what's good for the goose isn't good for the gander. Sad.

 

 

Next time: Seems so superficial to follow up with my next post, but I will.                         

Full of what exactly?

It's Thanksgiving. A day to reflect on all the good things in our lives. Lately I've been too busy focusing on the shit, so I guess today came just in time. I live in a country where I am free to wear whatever kind of clothes I want. Where my daughter can grow up and be whatever she wants to be. I live in a home where I feel safe sleeping every night. I have a family that accepts me for my quirks and loves me despite my bad choices. I can have fish in my bedroom. I can sit in the backyard and enjoy the night sky. I can go for a drive and see what the desert has to over. Hell, I'm allowed to drive! Yes, I have a lot of reasons to be thankful.

 

Today started out as any other day except the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade was on. It was the first day in years that I actually got to watch the whole thing. I ate breakfast with G. That's where my day started to get interesting. My mom handed my a couple of letters that came in the mail the day before. The first letter I couldn't tell you what it was, I don't remember it, but the second letter that's the important one. It was a letter from DES, Department of Economic Security, the child support enforcement division. I opened it thinking it would be same old story, here's another letter telling you that we are trying to get Douche-bag to pay you money, BUT he still doesn't have a job so blah blah blah! But it wasn't! It was a freaking check!!! I just kind of sat there in shock, wondering if it was a real check,what's the catch, am I dreaming? It is real! I, after almost 4 and a half years, have finally received something from that dead beat, loser, Douche-bag, besides a cheap ass toy that he slipped on my front doorstep while everyone was asleep.

 

Oh and then I had some turkey!

 

 

Next time: It's beginning to look a lot like . . . I'm gonna be spending a shitload on Christmas this year!                             

Favorite things about Thanksgiving!

Holidays always make me feel nostalgic. I long for the time that we used to live in New York, and having loads of family to celebrate with. Living in Arizona, the only family is my brothers and sister and their families. Next year we will be able to celebrate with my other sister, as she will be moving her family out here, too. I miss being able to run around with my cousins playing in someone's yard. These days we don't run, we chase our own children. As the years go by our family gets bigger and bigger, soon the children with start families of their own, too.

 

Besides being with family, one of the things I love about Thanksgiving is the turkey. There is just something about that large bird that screams HOLIDAY! Then we surround it with tons of other foods, homemade mashed potatoes, corn, green beans. We drink and be festive as our children run around chasing each other as we once did. Then it's time for dessert! Pumpkin pie, apple pie, cheesecake, coffee.

 

It isn't the same celebrating holidays without the snow and unbearably cold weather. I suppose it doesn't really matter where you are, how old you get or what the temperature is outside, as long as you are with family, the holidays will always be special! Even though I will be separated from a  lot of my family tomorrow, I will still have a wonderful Thanksgiving, as I'm sure they will, and will continue to make more wonderful memories. To everyone out in cyberspace that enjoys my blog, please have a safe and happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

Next time: Full of what exactly?                                                 

Something a little less painful

I went to go see my pain management doctor the other day. She asked me how my shoulders have been doing, all the normal questions. I told her that during the day, I've been doing fine, but at night I must be sleeping wrong because I wake up in so much pain. She really wants me to see a chiropractor, but my insurance doesn't cover chiropractic service. My spine is slightly tweeked. It could be from normal growth it just moved, or while playing sports it moved. In any case, it is shifted, not curved, but more like a slight rotation. It's just enough to cause a little bit of pressure on the nerve that extends out to my shoulder and mess up the whole works. Then she was asking me about my ribs, that should have cleared up months ago. Apparently, it is possible to sprain the muscles that run in between and connect the ribs (intercostal muscles). Well I sprained them initially during a flight to New York last year, and I still occasionally have pain. Nothing too severe, but enough to make me wince in pain. She gave me some Lidoderm patches that are AMAZING! She also thinks that my floating rib may have been jolted out of its normal position, and that would explain why I still have pain. Always a good time at the doctor's office. Then she informs me that she wants my PCP to take over prescribing me the medications that she has been giving me. Her job is to find a way for me to manage my pain, and she has completed her job. I'll be sad to leave her, she is a really nice doctor.

 

Tomorrow I get to visit with my Psychiatrist. I'll be informing her of my increase in paranoia. Although, experience tells me that I won't get the chance because she'll want to discuss my new purse or watch or something completely off subject. Oh well! I should probably tell her about my anxiety about my pending court decision, too. After all, I'm a frigging mess about it, and will be until it is resolved.

 

 

Next time: Favorite things about Thanksgiving!                               

Corners of my mind

Several times during the day I find my mind wandering. What am I going to do if I never get my record cleared? I have no idea how I am going to support my child! To be honest, my parents are not going to live forever, and that scares the shit out of me. How am I going to get a job as a felon? I don't understand how convicted felons that do years in prison and then get released get jobs! I didn't even serve any time and I can't get a second glance at an application. I should hear back soon about whether or not the courts are going to dismiss the charge against me. Then I get to plan the next part of my life, trying to become a nurse at 35. Still though, I have that nagging thought in the back of my head, what if I'm stuck being a felon for the rest of my life? I only have so much in this world, but it won't matter if I can't live on my own. What is my daughter going to think of me when she gets older? It's bad enough that her father is a deadbeat loser, but to have two loser parents? I don't want her to grow up pitying me! I will do everything in my power to make sure that G never sees me that way. That she is always happy and well taken care of. I'll figure out a way.

Next time: Something a little less painful                              

Fun with cooking

Thanksgiving is this week which means I need to start baking soon so that I'm on time for Christmas. I love to bake, or maybe, I love to take pictures of my creations. Either way, I have a good time. I could do without the back pain that comes with it, but c'est la vie! For several years I have been trying a variety of recipes, trying to find "my dish". Typically I am called upon to make my "green bean casserole", however it truly belongs to French's and Campbell's, not me. In all honesty though, can anyone who follows a recipe call it their own?

This will be the third year that I will be preparing "Friend's Christmas Dinner" and every year I grant the same request: Pasta e Fagioli. For those of you who don't know Italian, it means pasta and beans, literally. It certainly does not sound appetizing, but when made properly it is such a filling, and deliciously flavorful meal, that it is understandable why my friends enjoy it every year. Living in the Southwest, it is difficult to find a good Italian restaurant. There was one that I would go to twice a week for their Pasta e Fagioli, and they disappeared. I went there one week, was sick for a week, then boom they were gone! Not very many restaurants carry that as a staple soup anyway, so I reluctantly went to Olive Garden. Utter tragedy! Their broth is white, it isn't even the right color! I thought I would give them a second chance, no, it's still bad. So now I make my own. Granted, I use a recipe from a cookbook, but I marry the ingredients together, so it's "my dish".

Along with dinner, we do a gift exchange. This year I am going to attempt a sweets basket. I have been compiling several different cupcake, cookie, and butter brickle type recipes to make for my friends. I am excited to start baking and trying the new things, but at the same time I'm worried that I may have set myself up for a disaster. I am going to be doing a lot of different desserts in a short amount of time. As I get closer to preparing these desserts, I will include photos, so check back here for an update. I probably will not include the recipes, but if you are interested in a dish, let me know and I'll post the recipe.

As I am writing this, I am thinking of at least two more desserts that I'd like to include, but I am wondering if I have already reached my limit. It is going to be a very interesting holiday season!

Next time: Corners of my mind                     

I might have to get on my SOAPBOX x3

I'm going to start this blog by first stating that this entire blog is a make up of my personal thoughts and opinions. If you are in any way insulted or offended by what you are reading, you are more than welcome to go somewhere else for your entertainment. And now, on with the show!

I have absolutely no sympathy for the people who are making themselves victims in the "Occupy Wall Street" movement. I understand you. I have heard your various arguments. I empathize with you . . . but now I'm done with you. I have no need to live in an anarchistic country. I am in no way a "capitalist pig", I can barely live within my means! I have created the life that is set before me, and it is up to me, and only me, to change the course of that life.

I wanted the dream that every little kid learns about in school. I knew the only way to do that was through a good education. I focused on little by little, working while going to Community College, so I would not have to take a loan for school yet. I still worked while attending University, but I understood that I would need to take small loans to get myself through till graduation. My plan to graduate from college with a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology did not include a follow up plan of how to make money because, as anyone knows, social workers do not make tons of money. I did my job, though, proudly! I loved working with people who have varying types of mental illnesses. Unfortunately, at this time in my life, I let my heart lead me astray. I no longer was focused on my career, I was focused on the man that I thought would create a new family with me. Although he did the crimes, I didn't stop him. I DIDN'T STOP HIM!! I could have walked away from him, and went back to my old life, my happy life, but I wanted a family. That's what comes next in the list of accomplishments, right? When I was arrested, he was no where to be found, literally. So much for my Prince! Now I have no one to blame for what my life has become but myself. Honestly, I love to blame that Douche-bag, but I made my own decisions, or lack of decisions as they may be. I am responsible for writing the letters to the court, and making sure that all the proper documents are filed to get MY LIFE BACK!  My life! So one day I can truly finish my education, and get a job that I can support myself and G on, and maybe one day afford a little 3-bedroom house with a small yard, and a nice eco-friendly hybrid.

So to get back to my soapbox, the reason why these protesters piss me off is because they are expecting the handout. No one gets handouts except people on line for samples at Cost-Co or people in line at the local shelter. Brutal, yes, and also honest. You can't go to a bank and expect them to start handing out 100s. What is anyone expecting to get out of yelling at a child that is being escorted to their private school by his or her wealthy parent?? And don't try to deny that some of you weren't doing it, here is proof! Also, it's real nice to have people from Hollywood backing some of your protests, but do you realize the majority of them go home to lavish lifestyles? It is really hard to take someone serious that backs the OWS movement, but at the same time are flying off to vacation paradises. I don't know, maybe that's just my opinion. And what exactly is the idea behind sitting in the street?? That is called "civil disobedience", and has no bearing on a peaceful protest. You want to protest? Do it where you are suppose to and you will be more likely to get your message across. I did a peaceful protest, and it was to protest the proposed decrease of funds to children with disabilities. I don't remember seeing any of you out there sweating in the sun while us parents walked around the state capitol pushing strollers. Once someone came out and took the time to listen to our CONCISE AND WELL THOUGHT OUT IDEAS, we dispersed. We knew we were heard! We did it without a single arrest! We did it without pissing off a population that we were supposed to be standing up for! Do you hear me now?! You look like assholes yelling at people who are simply going to work to make a living! That goes the same for picking fights with police officers. I'm sure they understand some of your views, but they are paid to enforce the law, not to let a bunch of people run around a crowded city, lawless and angry. The country has heard you, the world has heard you, now go home and try to get a job, because what you are doing now is not benefiting anyone!

I am the 99%, and I will continue to work my ass off to make my life what I want it to be. Although I suppose if I look at it like that, it really makes me the 1%!


Next time: Fun with cooking                              

Now it's time to wait . . . .

So I went down to the courthouse last week and submitted my paperwork to have my charge dismissed. I finally heard back from them yesterday that they received my request and, once they make a judgment, they will get back to me. So now I'm just waiting. I'm hoping that they approve my request so I can get on with my life. I have literally been at a standstill for 2 years. No job, no income, no life. At least I was able to complete my prerequisites for Nursing school while I was waiting so that I can get right into that. However, Nursing school has a 2 year waiting list out here. More waiting!

I worry what will happen if they deny my request again. With a felony charge of theft on my record, it makes getting a job anywhere very difficult. Not for nothing, I mean, people need to work wherever they can, but I'm the type of person that needs some sort of stimulation when I work. I don't feel like I could get that type of stimulation working at Burger King, if they would even hire me. 

I hate that Douche-bag put me in this position. I hate that he was such a manipulative asshole that doesn't give a shit about any of his kids! I hate living at my parents house and having my siblings look at me like I'm a loser. I hate having to share my room with my daughter, not because I don't like being in the same room with her because that's fun, but because we together have so much stuff, it's too much for one room! I hate that I can't give her everything I want to give her because I put my trust in someone that never deserved it. I hate that I have to pick up all the pieces by myself!

I love how much my parents help me and how much trust they have in my despite my poor decisions in the past. I love how my little girl doesn't ask where her daddy is because her Poppy is a better example for a daddy than Douche-bag could ever be. I love how surprised she is that I am keeping a binder of all her silly drawings. I love watching my daughter sleep. All in all, I really have a lot going for me, but I would be no where without the help from my parents.

Next time: Fun with cooking                                   

Sick kids! UGH!

Having a kid that is sick absolutely sucks! They sneeze and cough all over everything! They wipe their noses on their sleeves, unless they think they can somehow inhale all the loose mucus in their heads. They have an abundance of energy no matter how high their temperature is. She gurgles while she sleeps, it sounds like she's swimming. And the worst thing of all is the snoring! It doesn't stop all night long. Then she wakes up at the most absurd hours of the night, requesting that I put on the television because she can't sleep. Apparently she didn't notice that I was sleeping quite peacefully before she disrupted me with that request! 

 

I can't get her to take medication either. She will only take Tylenol melt a ways, grape flavor. She doesn't trust anything else. The only way I can get her to take anything else is to slip it to her. For instance, I have Triaminic melt tabs that you just put on your tongue and they melt. Well when they touch her tongue she freaks out. She actually had a supreme melt down when I gave her one of these on an airplane, big mistake. Since then, I have found that if I melt them in a small glass of Gatorade, she will drink it without tasting the medicine. However, she has recently started to notice there is a "strange" flavor in her Gatorade. Damn smart kid!

 

I can't sleep because she snores. Then if I do manage to fall asleep, she wakes me up having a coughing fit. Then she wakes me at 5am to watch tv. I think she's trying to drive me insane, or more insane I should say. I just wish she would get better already, and turn back into my normal monster. At least I'm used to that one's insanity.

 

 

Next time: Now it's time to wait . . . .                                             

Hmmmmmmmmmmm . . . .

So many things often make me step back and wonder "What the hell are you thinking?" Recently, I became friends again with my old friend (for his full story go to I've got to get out sometimes). Already he is bombarding me with the stupid text messages about how he thought that we cleared the air, and why can't things go back to normal. I don't think he fully realized that I was hurt by him, and I'm done. It's horrible to say, but I just don't give a shit anymore. I can't be bothered to waste time listening to him talk about things that matter to him while he doesn't even bother asking me anything about me. He doesn't know anything about me, which is just one aspect of our friendship that irritates me. The other thing is why is he attacking me, instead asking what's going on with me that I won't talk to him. That's the thing is he won't ask about me, he is only interested in himself. I just can't be bothered anymore. I suppose it is selfish of me, but too bad! I'm over being pushed aside.

 

Here's another hmmmmm. So I got a kiss from someone the other night, and it was ok. But if a kiss doesn't make you see stars and do cart wheels, do you just move on? I'm so confused about that! He's really nice and a total gentleman, but the kiss really didn't do it for me. Maybe I'll just see if he can do a little better next time.

 

Recently there was this story in the news about this woman that recorded her father beating her with a belt back when she was 16ish, she is currently 23. My thing is, why are you waiting till now to make your father look bad? Maybe he didn't beat you hard enough to knock some sense in to your stupid head. I think it's ridiculous that she is getting so much media exposure for what looks like a failed attempt at blackmail. Although I suppose it hasn't failed since she has basically made her father look like an ASSHOLE in front of the whole nation. Oh did I fail to mention that her father is a judge?

 

I'm sure I could go on and on with things that make me wonder, so don't be surprised if you see another blog that says Hmmmmmmmmmmm2.

 

 

Next time: Sick kids! UGH!                                     

Shenanigans!

So the plan was for everyone to meet at this bar for Karaoke at 8pm. By 8:30, I was still at home waiting for my sister to get ready so we could leave. I found out that my friends that had already gotten to the bar, had already ordered dinner, without me. I was STARVING!!! 

So we finally get to the bar, and we are sitting outside chatting when this girl walks up with a tray of shots from Pinnacle Vodka. I had yet to try any of their concoctions, and couldn't wait. She said the ones she had were cotton candy vodka with 7-up. Yummy! So then I had to decide my starter drink of the evening: Pinnacle Whipped with Dr Pepper. That went down so quick, I needed another to follow up with: Pinnacle Whipped with OJ. That was good too. Then, I decided to try Pinnacle Whipped with root beer, but the bartender didn't mention that the root beer they use is Barq's. If you have ever drank root beer, you can tell there is a distinct taste difference between Barq's and anything good. Barq's has bite, and it's not tastey! So I returned that drink for another one with Dr Pepper. Three was a good limit to set with those bad boys because I was on cloud 9, or at least close too it.

In between drinking, there was singing, a quick salad, conversations, picture taking, and smoking. Then beer. Beer is so nice when it's cold, and not the least bit skunky. Goes down like ice water. There was a kiss, a kind of awkward, but nice kiss. Then, my old roommate showed up. He's usually good for the last minute invite. And then there was Denny's . . . 

I shouldn't have gone to Denny's. I should have gone straight home to my comfy bed, and went to sleep, but we went to Denny's. We ordered food, and that's went things got crazy. I don't even know if I instigated everything, but all of a sudden we were best friends with these guys at the next table. He's talking about being an uncircumcised Jew. Someone took my late bacon. I was conned into paying for dinner, good con by the way. Then the drive home. The drive home is either my head stuck out the window praying to God that I don't throw up, or laying on the seat totally reclined with my eyes closed praying to God that I don't throw up. This drive was a little combo, the window down, seat reclined, and praying. I made it home, obviously. Thanked my friend for a great night, somehow made it into my house and my bed. Another year down!

Next time: Hmmmmmmmmmmm . . . .                                

Oh, boy, Birthday Time!

Remember when you were younger and you couldn't wait for your next birthday? A big cake, lots of presents, a party!!! It doesn't really happen anymore until you get real old. I wish once you hit thirty, you can age back down to twenty and then just bounce back and forth through the twenties. That would be nice! Unfortunately, that is not how it works.

 

Every 365 days I wonder how many of my friends are going to show up to my party. Last year it was two. That's right 2 people. This year it should be five, should be that is. Odds are only two will show up. That's so sad. Well, I intend to have fun this year and I'm dragging my friends out to sing karaoke with me. That's right I said Karaoke!! And no less at a dive-ish bar. Apparently, I'm trying to lower my party guests to one next year.

 

This is going to occur two full days before my actual birthday, which falls on a Sunday this year. On my actual birthday, I will probably not get the meal that I want (a nice fat porterhouse), or the cake I want (Cookie-puss), but it's a day where I can be more lazy than usual. I think on my birthday my spine turns to jelly and I just sink into my bed.

 

Birthdays just aren't as fun as they used be. Pinatas full of candy, chips and dips, a huge cake, and lots of guests, which means lots of presents. Now I just live through my daughter and make sure her birthday parties are over the top.This year her birthday was a little too over the top and we ended it at the emergency room. Missed all the cool fireworks, too.

 

I just hope tomorrow I can sit around with all my friends and have a good time. It's been a while since I had a worry free night out. I think I'm due for one. Wish me luck!

 

 

Next time: Shenanigans!                   

Preparation for the Future!

I know exactly what I need to get the ball rolling, but I am having trouble doing that. I currently am considered a "felon", because my ex thought it would a good idea to sell things on ebay and then not deliver the products. He was never charged with the felony offenses, just me. I completed my probation time, I paid my restitution, and I filed to have my rights reinstated. I did get my rights reinstated, but my request to have my charges dropped was denied. In the initial paperwork, it didn't say anything about having people mail in letters on my behalf, or to show proof of rehabilitation, so all I did was send in the form.

 

Now months later, I have 3 letters written on my behalf, and I am stalling when it comes to mine. Maybe deep down I feel like I deserve this punishment. Douche-bag was slick, but I should have stopped him. Did I pay my dues? I mean even the judge says I have shown proof of rehabilitation, just send in the paperwork. And another day goes by. And another. I feel like I'm stuck, why don't I just mail the damn thing in???

 

After I get back the paperwork dropping the charges, I have a lot of work ahead of me. I have to apply for Nursing School. Then, I have to submit lots of paperwork to the courts, to get G's name changed, to get full custody without visitation, and to sever Douche-bag's rights to my daughter. I have a job basically waiting for me as soon as my charge is clear. So I'm just waiting, because I can't send the paperwork in that will get the ball to roll!

 

 

Next time: Oh, boy, Birthday Time!        

I might have to get on my SOAPBOX x2

I have to postpone today's psyco-babble to rant about something irritating. GRAMMAR! I don't even know who to blame, the television, the texting, chat, I mean there is no reason to not know the proper usage of English words, especially if English is your only language!

Example #1: there, their, they're. Put them into a sentence and it should make sense, if it doesn't then you are using the wrong form. "Where is that great restaurant? Over there. (directional)" "Their kids are so well behaved (ownership)" They're going to the bar after the game. (shortened form of they are)"

Example #2: your and you're. "Is this your pencil?" "You're the most beautiful person in the room" See the difference???

Example #3: its and it's. Its is already stated ownership, as in "what is its top speed?" It's is it is, therefore "it is coming" is the same as "it's coming".

Example #4 were and we're. "Where were you last night?" makes sense "Where we're (we are) you last night?" makes no sense at all! "We're at the club" Yes, we are!

And for the love of God, spell check cannot correct correctly spelled words! Therefore if you are trying to write "I went to the store", but typed "I rent to the stare" it looks drastically different. All spelled correctly, but the meaning is lost.

It really does not take much effort to type a sentence that other people can understand without the use of a puzzle book to decipher what you are trying to write. I am almost half tempted to write this blog the way my 8th grade English teacher taught me, without contractions! There is no "can't" there is "can not". I shudder to think how much difficulty today's students will have once entering college and having to write an adequate college level paper.

Anyway, that is my soapbox for today! I will return to what I was supposed to write about tomorrow.               

Preparation for the Future!

I watch entirely too much zombie stuff. Shaun of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead, The Walking Dead, all the Resident Evils, I mean it's ridiculous! So I have started thinking: what would happen if there was really a zombie apocalypse, and how can I protect my family? I told my sister I want an automatic bow and arrow for Christmas this year. I figure, it's never too early to start planning. I can't really go into too much detail about my plans, I mean many of the things I intend to do are illegal, but I kind of feel that a general sense of anarchy will ensue after the zombies take over. Don't worry, once it happens, I will detail my plans online so you can join us or do the same in your area.

We already live in a far off area, so my hopes are that we will be able to fortify our home before the full zombie invasion gets up here. We already have plenty of bats, hammers, axes, shovels, you know quiet weapons. I think one of the most important things to do, after fortifying our home, will be obtaining enough food and water for 3 months minimum. Reason for that is most of the human population will have been eaten and will have become walkers so that when we do eventually come out of our home we won't have to fight people for food. Just zombies for our lives!

This is purely hypothetical. I mean the world could go down in a blaze of glory by means of the Anti Christ. I have a totally other plan in store for that. I'm Roman Catholic, and proudly display my crucifix on my chest. I have no fantasies of being brought immediately to heaven with 144,000 people. Not me. I'm good, but not THAT good! No I'll be left behind to deal with the shit that happens, and I'm ok with that, because I have a plan. Eventually, AC's minions will come for Catholics to join him and I won't do it, so I'll have to hide. Unfortunately, fortifying my house won't cut it because AC's minions will have the backing of the world military and just blow my little ass up. My close friends know my intentions and are actually going to join up with me when that time comes, if that time comes.

Again this is hypothetical. We could just all be exploded by a meteorite that comes too close and causes world devastation. I haven't actually formulated a plan for that scenario yet. I'm more worried about the damn zombies, to be honest! 

Next time: Need to get back on track