How many medications can one person possibly take?!?!?

Sometimes I am surprised at the amount for prescribed medications that I take. It's actually pretty funny to see the look on someone else's face when they see me take out all my bottles of medicine. There are meds for the morning and meds for night. Meds for my tummy, meds for my pain, meds for my anger. Meds meds meds!

 

It starts in the morning with an over the counter (OTC) and 3 prescription pills. Migrelief is an herbal medication that I take on the advise of my doctor to decrease the intensity and duration of my migraines. Cimetidine is for my acid reflux. Venlafaxine is for my anger. Metoprolol is a beta blocker to decrease my heart rate. That one is a new med so I'm still not 100% what it's for but I'm taking it.

 

Then at night, I take one OTC and 5 to 7 prescription pills. Another Migrelief and Cimetidine because they should be taken 2 times a day. Ambien to help me sleep. Tramadol (2 pills) for my shoulder pain. Reclipsen to bring on my period because of the PCOS. If I still can't sleep then I take a Benadryl. If I have additional pain that my Tramadol can't handle, I take Diclofenac Sodium which is a type of non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID).

 

Let's say that despite taking Migrelief every day twice a day, I still get a migraine. Then I have an additional pill that I take. My old pills were AWESOME!! I took 1-4 through the day and the migraine was gone. However, the drug companies no longer make that prescription so now I have been put on something that doesn't even have a name, it's just a bunch of abbreviations. It's called butal-asa-caf. I don't think I'm even supposed to take anything with aspirin in it because of my stomach. When the monthly pains start, and they are never bad enough to warrant Narcos, I take Tylenol. I love Tylenol! Is that ok to have a love relationship with Tylenol? In fact, TYLENOL IF YOU ARE LISTENING: please bring back your children's line of medicines especially the melt-away tabs. I read the instructions and do not overmedicate my child, so if you want to just send me a shipment alone for my child that would be great! OR just start selling them again!

 

When the pain in my shoulder is just too too much to handle, then the valium comes out. No pain after that. Then there is something wrong with my rib cage. Medication didn't work, but medicated pads did, so when that pain flares up I slap on a pad. I feel like a walking pharmacy!

 

And that is just what I take! My poor kid already has to take Claritin everyday or risk going to an Ear Nose and Throat Doctor for a potential operation. Then there is my supply of Tylenol for her that is the last of the two bottles that I ever found, and are not expired. SERIOUSLY TYLENOL BRING THEM BACK!

 

So I guess it's really not that many medications, but when you compare them to a normal person's medicine cabinet it looks extreme. And then none of them get filled at the same time, so I'm at CVS every few days. Anyway, I'm up late tonight, looks like it's gonna be a benadryl night.

 

Next time: Dreams         

My head is spinning faster than the exorcist!

It's that time of the year where I start to get a little crazier than usual. It starts with Halloween and doesn't end until the New Year. . . Holiday Season!! I try to do all of my shopping well before Christmas, but still, there is cooking, wrapping, planning, etc. I have already bought G 4 presents and that was WAY before Halloween. Not that it is a holiday, but my birthday falls around this time of year too. I used to get really excited about it, now I dread it's arrival. Older and older I get. The planning has already started. Where are we going? Who is going? Are we going to dinner before we go clubbing? What are you wearing? What am I wearing? Are we getting a table?

Then comes Thanksgiving. Who's making what? Where are we eating? Who's coming? What time is dinner? How many things do I cook? Do I make just a dessert? Does everyone like the green bean casserole that I make EVERY year? If they don't, why are they eating it all? Do I try another random dessert that could potentially be a success or go down in a ball of flames? Remember the Creme Brulee? What a clusterf*&k that turned out to be! What is G wearing to dinner? What am I wearing to dinner? Is it possible to sweat this much in WINTER!

Then it's a brief few weeks of what seems to be relaxation but it is really the countdown to the ultimate crazyfest! CHRISTMAS! How long does it take to put up one tree? Do we want to put up two trees? Are all the presents wrapped? Did I find all the presents that I hid? Where are we going for Christmas Eve? Where are we going for Christmas? What are we eating Christmas Eve? What are we eating for Christmas? Do I have to make something? What am I going to make? Do people eat green bean casserole for two holidays in a row? What is G wearing? What am I wearing? Are we going to mass? Which mass are we going to? Is G gonna like all her presents? Did I buy her enough presents? Did anyone make cookies for Santa's plate? Do we have a carrot for the reindeer? Don't forget he glass of milk. Can I get to bed before 4am? Are we arguing in front of everyone this year, or just family? Who's talking to who? Who's not talking to who? Why do we have to watch sports AGAIN?

Sometimes I think my friends do it the best. The only thing we plan is when the day is that we celebrate Friends Christmas. I cook the meal. The kids sit and eat. The adults get tipsy. We exchange gifts, and the kids play with their new toys. Then it's home in bed. Simple and enjoyable.

New Year's is relatively low key, except it is minimally stressful. Where are we going? Did we get VIP? How dressed up are we getting? Can we afford to go there? What are you wearing? What am I wearing? Is there a cover? Are we sure we want to go there? Isn't there somewhere more relaxed?

Thank God there is 4 months till Easter!

Next time: How many medications can one person possibly take?!?!?     

I might have to get on my SOAPBOX

There are not very many things I get huffy about, but I recently found out that my satellite provider will no longer be airing any Fox or Fox affiliated channels. Normally I'd be like "big deal, not like I watch that anyway", but it is a big deal. This Tuesday, November 1st, I will no longer be able to watch American Horror Story on FX. Then, later in the year, local fox channels will be taken off the air. That means no Bones, House, Terra Nova, and Fringe on Fox, and no shows from UPN. I am not very happy about this. Granted I primarily watch CBS because "CBS cares", but I DO watch all those other listed shows. Well not House so much, I really don't like what his character has become.

Anyway, please feel free to go to these websites and decide for yourself who is telling the truth.

Direct TV: http://www.ourpromisetoyou.com/?

NewsCorp/Fox: http://keepmynets.com/

I don't know what exactly will happen on November 1st, but at this time where our country is in a recession, do companies really think they have the right to ask for more money for the same product? It's not fair to us, the common folk that just want to enjoy a little television after the little people stop running around screaming! (You know who I mean) 

Addendum: As of today (11/2/11) FX is reporting that Direct TV and NewsCorp/Fox have come to an agreement and will not be going off the air. Yay!

Next week: My head is spinning faster than the exorcist! 

Cheese Puffs VS Cheetos

How do you buy snack foods for a kid that likes Cheetos, when you prefer Cheese Puffs? I thought I raised her better to enjoy the puffy quality of a cheesey snack food rather than the roughness of the oddly shaped cheeto. Either way we both enjoy licking that cheesey build up that forms on your fingers after eating half a bag (ok a whole bag). I feel almost offended every time she asks me to buy her a bag of Cheetos. I came real close to asking her if she wanted a bag of funions instead, but I held my tongue.

It definitely is in the raising because I don't remember ever truly like Cheetos. I mean, don't get me wrong, if they are at a party and no one brought Cheese Puffs, then I'm going to eat them, but I won't enjoy them. There is something about them I don't like. Whether it's the weird individualized shape of each one, or how hard they are, or that it seems like you just don't get as many in a bag as you would of Cheese Puffs, I can't really say where my dislike comes from.

The Cheese Puff, on the other hand, is about as enjoyable as you can get before a sugary sweet. They all come in the same basic shape. This is important so that you don't have to fight anyone for the biggest Cheese Puff in the bowl. They are all the same size; can't say that for Cheetos. Also, they melt in your mouth. There is really something to be said about sucking the air out of a food until it slowly gets dissolved in your mouth. Also can not be done with a Cheeto.

The company that makes these deliciously fine snack foods have, in the last few years, tried to expand on the idea by creating the Chester Cheetah Paw, which is puffish, but not. It does not compare in my book. The Cheese Balls are great too, but I find that somehow after eating them I notice a layer of skin has been grated off the roof of my mouth. They also make the Twists, which are giant versions of the Cheese Puff, but twisted, hence the name. These are a bit too large. I like a snack food I can toss in my mouth and chew, not take a bite of and still have half the food left to eat.

Now back to the root of the story. I don't want to be one of those people that buys a giant bag of Cheetos AND a giant bag of Cheese Puffs. If they could create some sort of combo bag, that would be great! I could split the bag with G and there would be no complaining from either of us. Just two big girls, sitting on a couch, licking the cheesy residue off our fingers. Pure Bliss!

Next time: I might have to get on my SOAPBOX    

Cleanliness next to Godliness?? Not in my room!

I have never been the cleanest person in the world, per say. When I was living in a house with several other people, I made sure to clean up after myself in the common areas, but my room was a mess. Now here I am, a grown woman, living in a small bedroom with a little kid, and my room couldn't be messier. There is some order to this chaos though, I know where everything is when I need it. I have a huge king bed that I can only sleep on half of. That is actually an improvement because when G used to climb in bed I only got a quarter of the sleeping area, if that! 

I really want it to be clean. For a while I actually was doing pretty good at keeping it semi clean. Lately though I just don't have the will to do it. My sister would call me lazy. It's not like I enjoy sharing my bed with a pile of clean clothes! I mean, for Pete's sake, all they need to be is hung up and put in the closet. The numerous papers can be thrown in the garbage. I have no idea why there is a Princess Crown on my bed. Must have been G's little addition to the pile. 

Then there is the dresser next to my bed. Covered with stuff! I don't even know what kind of stuff is on there anymore. I do know that some of my important papers are on there, but I know exactly where they are. On the other dresser, where the fish tank is kept, there is a small pile of stuff. Car keys, sunglasses, a box of markers, mosquito repellant, etc. My father build some shelves in my room so I had more places to put more stuff. A giant flying Tinkerbell, a box full of first aid stuff, two night lights, fish food, and some weird fake plant that somehow wandered in here.

Directly in front of my bed is the DANGER ZONE! There is about a foot of walking space (when it's clean). There is a toy box, over flowing with toys. Then there is a toy shelf unit that has 9 boxes full of toys. On the other side there is an entertainment center that is now used to hold 2-3 drawer units for G's spare shoes, DVDs, game system. On top of them are lots and lots of movies, VHS and DVD. 

My closet is absolutely full of clothes. Clothes I wear, clothes I don't wear, shoes (lots of shoes), G's clothes that she wears, her dress up clothes, all our laundry baskets, duffel bags, shoe boxes, towels, etc. My bathroom is also over flowing with stuff. Medication, cleaning supplies (that are actually used thank you), hair ties, hair brushes, toothbrushes, make-up, and stuff and stuff and stuff.

It's nerve wracking to even think about cleaning this mess. I know it needs to get done. There are a lot of things I need to do, but cleaning just doesn't seem to be a priority. And, quite frankly, it gets lonely in this big bed, so maybe it's ok to share it with a pile of clothes for a little while. And a penguin, a fireman hat, a nightlight, and some coloring books. Shit, I really need to clean my bed!

Next time: Cheese Puffs VS Cheetos  

I've got to get out sometimes!

Paranoia can just play some nasty tricks on your head. It can make you hear sounds that aren't there. Think there are people watching you that aren't there. It can make you fearful to leave your place of comfort. For me it was a gradual feeling that slowly started to consume my thoughts. It very slowly became that I could only go shopping, but then I started to get anxious about doing that too. I wasn't agoraphobic, but I was on my way to becoming that way. When my friends started to notice that I started declining their invitations to go out, they became more concerned. I only felt like I had a few places where I could feel safe. Those places are J's house, S's house, the grocery store I go to, and my bedroom (not my house, my bedroom). I know my family gets very concerned about my living environment, because it looks like total chaos, but for me, it's my belongings surrounding me and making me feel safe. It's one of those hard to explain things.

Around 4 months ago, I would try to leave the house more often with my sister and some of my friends. I was trying to get my comfort level back. Then I started going out with my niece and her friends, who really are much too young for me to be hanging out with but they are people. That lasted for a good few months. Then I just sort of stopped again. I know exactly why I stopped and it is the stupidest reason in the world, but it got me back into my funk and out of the world.

This "guy" that I was "friends" with for about 2 years had started to show an interest in me. We would talk on the phone Monday through Friday, texting, talking, whatever, and when the weekend would come, I'd try to make plans to meet up with him somewhere. I'd go out anyway with D and her friends, hoping that eventually he would show up. He never did! I would then go all day Saturday not talking to him, until he would finally text on Sunday night. I'd forgive him for being whatever (DUMB) and then we'd go back to talking texting whatever all week. . . until Friday night. The same thing happened again! We went to the club, he made some excuse why he couldn't go, or was so drunk already that I couldn't understand him. I'd get mad, not talk to him all day Saturday, then he would text me on Sunday, and the shit would start all over again.

Eventually, we made plans to go on a road trip to California, but I was thinking "is this really something I want to do with this guy? He's so unreliable". About two weeks before the trip, we found out that the event that we were going to got cancelled. It was a way out for me and I took it. He texted me a few times "why am I avoiding him? I'm being shady now that the event got cancelled" blah blah blah! My thing is why do I have to be the carpet you wipe your shitty boots on? During the week, I would listen to him complain about his former job, then gloat about the new job he got. He would talk about things about doors, I had no idea was he was talking about, but I gave him my ear. He always wanted to come over for dinner and a movie night, on his terms! If any part of it deviated from his plans, he would bail out. He never listened to me, and if he did, it gave him an in to berate me. That I'm "only a stay at home mom". And since I'm "home all day" I had plenty of time to look stuff up for him on the internet.

All I wanted was someone to stand next to me while I'm drinking, or accompany me outside when I smoke, maybe keep me safe from creepers and stalkers. I didn't think my requirements for him were that tough, but when the world revolves around THAT other person you're just one of thousands of satellites rotating around him too. I didn't want to be a floating satellite anymore. I'm worth more that that. And if I can ever leave my house again, maybe someone would take notice of me.

Next time:Cleanliness next to Godliness?? Not in my room!     

When you're alone, what happens?

I happen to love the show Doctor Who. I have even tried to watch some of the pre-80s version of the show, but it doesn't have the pull for me like the revamped stuff they show now. Anyway, if you don't watch it, they have a Christmas Special every year. Last year they did a sort of Doctor Who meets Mr. Scrooge theme. That show was absolutely fabulous!! There was a song that was sung, Abigail's Song, that is just beautiful! That link takes you to a video of the song that has the lyrics included. The first line of the song states "When you're alone, silence is all you know".

Sometimes I really enjoy the silence, but it is never truly silent. As soon as the television is off, and G is sleeping, I hear the hum of the fish tank. That is when the thoughts come. What am I going to wear tomorrow? Is G going to be in a pleasant mood tomorrow? What is she going to wear tomorrow? What am I doing tomorrow? What time do I have to be awake? Why aren't I asleep yet? What's that noise? Is G snoring? I wonder if I could sneak outside for a quick cig? I'm so tired! Why am I still awake? Then I start bargaining with myself. Ok if I'm still awake in 10 minutes I'll take a benadryl. Maybe I should start drinking a glass of wine before bed. I'll count my breathing until I pass out. Is there a battery in my clock? I need to replace the battery so tomorrow night I can count the ticks and go to sleep. Why am I still awake? God, can that fish tank hum any louder? Who is doing laundry in the middle of the night? Why are the lights on my DVD player so damn bright? Did I just inhale my own hair up my nose? Why is there so much hair in the bed? 

Needless to say, I am haunted by the evil ghost of insomnia! I have had this trouble since high school. I get to many thoughts going and I'm up all night. Some nights aren't as bad as others, but on the rare nights I'm sitting in my closet resorting cloths. So much for Ambien! When I first stated Ambien, the dose was too low, so my doctor uped it to 10mg. I can't tell you much about how that worked because there was a lot of sleep walking and chatting online with friends and I don't have a single memory of it. Except for the chats that I would find on my computer the next morning. My subconscious is pretty funny when I'm not in control. So now I'm back to the lower dose with benadryl for the bad nights.

I remember when I first complained about insomnia, my doctor put me on Trazodone. The dreams are so vivid! It was like a movie that I was in and could control. However, the second night I was on it, I woke in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. I spent an hour staring at the walls of the bathroom grow fur and start breathing. That was the end of that medication.

What I wouldn't give for a peaceful night of solid rest! Eight straight glorious hours would be wonderful. Except for that little person next to me that occasionally snores, or wakes up in the night to use the bathroom, and has to turn on every single light on in the room. I can't sleep with ear plugs or an eye mask. I just have to live this way hoping that one night I can sleep the kind of sleep that Shakespeare wrote about, as long as it wasn't death he was writing about. Always hard to tell with those old time writers.

Next time: I've got to get out sometimes!