Tutor time, ugh!

It's kind of funny that last night I decided to write about tutoring because today I was notified that I wouldn't be tutoring anymore. It really sucks because that was my income, as little as it was, it was something. Apparently, one of the students I was tutoring was not doing any of her school work. She was doing her work while I was there, and nothing else during the week. She was told that she would be put on academic probation, but continued to slack off until they kicked her out of home school today. Her mother, my friend, figured that if she would be sending one girl back to public school, she might as well send them both back. Therefore, no more work for me.

 

Even though I did plenty of complaining, the job was good for me. It got me out of the house twice a week, and G was going to school while I tutored. I enjoyed doing math with her younger daughter. I think she was really understanding what I was teaching her. Now, because her older sister was selfish and lazy, everything is ruined.

 

How do you get kicked out of home school anyway? I mean, I hate to say it, but all you have to do is the work, and it isn't that hard. Granted I already completed school, but some of the work was just silly easy. It all comes down to kids feeling like they can do or say whatever they want to do without fear of consequences. last year, this same girl flunked out and had to redo the same grade over. You think she would have learned her lesson then, but apparently not! 

 

I'm feeling pretty down about this because I still haven't heard back from the judge. Even though I received a check for child support, I have no idea if I will be receiving any more. At least I took care of everything that G wanted for Christmas, and her happiness is all that really matters to me anyway.

 

 

Next time: I just don't know anymore                                                 

Aren't we supposed to lead by example?

What kind of a world are we leaving for our children? My daughter thinks it's perfectly normal to be raised in a single parent home. To add to it, she sees her cousin being raised the same way. They grow up watching the violence in movies, video games, on the news, and yet we expect them to behave like perfect little angels when they are among their friends. Some children go home where they are brutalized by their parents, and then when they return to school and bully other children, we ask why?

 

I fear the day that G has to start school. Not just because my baby will be a big girl, and it will be the start of her going out and exploring the world without me, but I'm worried how other children will treat her. I see other parents all over facebook talking about how their children are teased at school or physically abused by other kids and the parents don't know what to do. How have we lost the way to teach our children to respect others?

 

I know it's a stupid thought, but I just wish we could live in a world of peace. And I mean peace all the way down to the playground. It's just a pipe dream, but maybe if we instill in them the proper playground rules, they will take those rules to the adult world. Things so simple as sharing, using manners, not bullying, and always making the new kid feel welcome. Wouldn't that make the world so much better?

 

 

Next time: Tutor time, ugh!                                           

It's beginning to look a lot like . . . I'm gonna be spending a shitload on Christmas this year!

G has been looking through Toys R Us catalogs since they came out this year. She's been going through them with pens and pencils circling all the things she wants Santa to bring her this year. She has been getting so big lately, it's hard to see a four year old when I look at her. She is very smart for her age, and enjoys doing lots of things on her own. Very independent! So far she has asked for a new bicycle, a guitar, a dinosaur, a fijit (it's like a dancing robot), some Barbie dolls, etc. I want nothing more than to give her everything she wants, but sometimes too much stuff is really too much!

 

I'm trying to keep everything within reason. A new bicycle makes sense. Her last one was a tricycle. She loves riding it around, but will have more fun on this new bike she picked out. It has training wheels and a little basket on the front for a dolly. I don't know where she came up with the idea for a guitar, but I thought "why not". The one they had was for a fairly good price, and it has the chords lettered so she knows where to put her fingers. Hopefully she can play that better than her recorder, oy! I also got her some interactive video games to go to the Kinect system. I think she's gonna get a kick out of them. One is "Once Upon a Monster" and she gets to play with the Sesame Street characters. The other one is "Kinectimals". I don't really know a whole lot about that game, but I'm sure she'll love it. 

 

I also decided that I need to buy presents for my niece and nephews that live back East. I think my niece will enjoy what I got her, but I have no idea what to get for the boys. Then there are my nieces and nephews out here that I have to buy for. No one is telling anyone what the kids want! It's insane. I really don't like buying gift cards for Christmas. Also I ordered my mother's gift tonight. I'm so excited! I think she is gonna get a kick out of it, and hopefully use it. The dollar signs just keep adding up and up!

 

Honestly, though, I think that as long as G gets everything she wants for Christmas, that will be enough of a gift for me. Well that and those boots that I've had my eye on!

 

 

Next time: Aren't we supposed to lead by example?                                      

I might have to get on my SOAPBOX x4

I'm sorry to deviate, yet again, from my usual post, but I have found another subject that needs to be addressed. I was actually going to write about this the other day, but I need to take time for myself too, plus it gave me some time to really get my thoughts together better about this. The subject is the increase of child abuse and subsequent death. In Arizona, in the last year, I believe we have had  6, that we know of. That is six children, that their parents, abused to the point of death! What is the worst thing that these children could have done to deserve being killed? Now the general public is crying out for a major upheaval of Child Protective Services (CPS) because they feel that the social workers are not doing their jobs.

 

I have two points of view to look at this from. One is from the view of the social worker. As a former case worker myself, I can honestly say that there is not enough time to truly focus on everyone on your caseload, and sometimes people fall through the cracks. It's my understanding that a special task force will be started that will be fully trained on how to detect child abuse with out the child saying anything. This is something that we should have had in place a long time ago. CPS is completely overwhelmed with cases, they do not have the time to focus on which children are being abused and which ones are at risk. With different departments focusing on different children, maybe these children can be taken off the "at-risk watch list", and the other children can continue to live without fear of continued abuse. When I worked with people with mental illnesses, I had a small caseload, which allowed me to focus on all of my clients. However, most other case workers had caseloads over 100. This is, I'm sure, what the CPS caseworkers have to deal with. It's too many people for the amount of pay. Not that that should be an excuse, but when you pay mediocre wagers, you are bound to hire mediocre people. Another example from my old job, there was a woman that was so rude to the clients, she would treat them stupid and demean them. It was disgusting to watch. She was actually the reason I left that job. Someone needs to protect these children since it is quite apparent that their own parents choose not to, but a better system needs to be implemented or restructured so no child is left behind.

 

The other point is from that of a parent. Sometimes it is rough being a parent, especially a single parent. When G was young, I remember telling my mom that I can see why some parents shake their children. I never would, but when you are all alone with a child that won't stop screaming and crying it feels like the last resort. I had a great support system when G was little, so that if I felt like I was getting to that point, I could pass her to another relative. However, these parents that starve their children or beat them with belts and other objects, well that is just inexcusable. The latest child that was killed, was kept in a closet for days. Her older siblings described the odor coming from the closet as death, and the girl looked like a "zombie", I assume because she was gaunt from malnutrition. They mentioned not seeing her for a few weeks before her mother finally called the police saying she was kidnapped.

 

We have all seen this "show" before. Parent calls police stating that their child has been abducted. Weeks into the investigation, police focus more on the parent, and eventually it is found that the parent killed the child. It's getting old. The worst part is that when Casey Anthony was acquitted, I knew the nation was going to see an increase of child abuse/killings because the abusive parents knew they were going to be able to get away with it. What bothers me the most is why are these children being killed, when the parents can take them to a fire station or a hospital and leave them there. Why are these people having these children to abuse?

 

I love my G with all my heart. If I could have her sleep next to me so I could hear her breathe all night, I would be in Heaven. I wouldn't sleep, but I'd be in Heaven! I feed her first at dinner time. Any money I have goes towards buying things for her. I can't imagine loving anyone more that I love her. So as a mother that gave birth to my little angel, I  can not understand how other mothers can kill their little angels! Children need discipline, yes, but not torture and abuse. It just makes me so angry how people can do this to their own children! I'm more of an eye for an eye type of person, so I think that these abusers need some of their own medicine, but the country would never let us lock prisoners in a closet and starve them to death. It's immoral and illegal. Huh, what's good for the goose isn't good for the gander. Sad.

 

 

Next time: Seems so superficial to follow up with my next post, but I will.                         

Full of what exactly?

It's Thanksgiving. A day to reflect on all the good things in our lives. Lately I've been too busy focusing on the shit, so I guess today came just in time. I live in a country where I am free to wear whatever kind of clothes I want. Where my daughter can grow up and be whatever she wants to be. I live in a home where I feel safe sleeping every night. I have a family that accepts me for my quirks and loves me despite my bad choices. I can have fish in my bedroom. I can sit in the backyard and enjoy the night sky. I can go for a drive and see what the desert has to over. Hell, I'm allowed to drive! Yes, I have a lot of reasons to be thankful.

 

Today started out as any other day except the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade was on. It was the first day in years that I actually got to watch the whole thing. I ate breakfast with G. That's where my day started to get interesting. My mom handed my a couple of letters that came in the mail the day before. The first letter I couldn't tell you what it was, I don't remember it, but the second letter that's the important one. It was a letter from DES, Department of Economic Security, the child support enforcement division. I opened it thinking it would be same old story, here's another letter telling you that we are trying to get Douche-bag to pay you money, BUT he still doesn't have a job so blah blah blah! But it wasn't! It was a freaking check!!! I just kind of sat there in shock, wondering if it was a real check,what's the catch, am I dreaming? It is real! I, after almost 4 and a half years, have finally received something from that dead beat, loser, Douche-bag, besides a cheap ass toy that he slipped on my front doorstep while everyone was asleep.

 

Oh and then I had some turkey!

 

 

Next time: It's beginning to look a lot like . . . I'm gonna be spending a shitload on Christmas this year!                             

Favorite things about Thanksgiving!

Holidays always make me feel nostalgic. I long for the time that we used to live in New York, and having loads of family to celebrate with. Living in Arizona, the only family is my brothers and sister and their families. Next year we will be able to celebrate with my other sister, as she will be moving her family out here, too. I miss being able to run around with my cousins playing in someone's yard. These days we don't run, we chase our own children. As the years go by our family gets bigger and bigger, soon the children with start families of their own, too.

 

Besides being with family, one of the things I love about Thanksgiving is the turkey. There is just something about that large bird that screams HOLIDAY! Then we surround it with tons of other foods, homemade mashed potatoes, corn, green beans. We drink and be festive as our children run around chasing each other as we once did. Then it's time for dessert! Pumpkin pie, apple pie, cheesecake, coffee.

 

It isn't the same celebrating holidays without the snow and unbearably cold weather. I suppose it doesn't really matter where you are, how old you get or what the temperature is outside, as long as you are with family, the holidays will always be special! Even though I will be separated from a  lot of my family tomorrow, I will still have a wonderful Thanksgiving, as I'm sure they will, and will continue to make more wonderful memories. To everyone out in cyberspace that enjoys my blog, please have a safe and happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

Next time: Full of what exactly?                                                 

Something a little less painful

I went to go see my pain management doctor the other day. She asked me how my shoulders have been doing, all the normal questions. I told her that during the day, I've been doing fine, but at night I must be sleeping wrong because I wake up in so much pain. She really wants me to see a chiropractor, but my insurance doesn't cover chiropractic service. My spine is slightly tweeked. It could be from normal growth it just moved, or while playing sports it moved. In any case, it is shifted, not curved, but more like a slight rotation. It's just enough to cause a little bit of pressure on the nerve that extends out to my shoulder and mess up the whole works. Then she was asking me about my ribs, that should have cleared up months ago. Apparently, it is possible to sprain the muscles that run in between and connect the ribs (intercostal muscles). Well I sprained them initially during a flight to New York last year, and I still occasionally have pain. Nothing too severe, but enough to make me wince in pain. She gave me some Lidoderm patches that are AMAZING! She also thinks that my floating rib may have been jolted out of its normal position, and that would explain why I still have pain. Always a good time at the doctor's office. Then she informs me that she wants my PCP to take over prescribing me the medications that she has been giving me. Her job is to find a way for me to manage my pain, and she has completed her job. I'll be sad to leave her, she is a really nice doctor.

 

Tomorrow I get to visit with my Psychiatrist. I'll be informing her of my increase in paranoia. Although, experience tells me that I won't get the chance because she'll want to discuss my new purse or watch or something completely off subject. Oh well! I should probably tell her about my anxiety about my pending court decision, too. After all, I'm a frigging mess about it, and will be until it is resolved.

 

 

Next time: Favorite things about Thanksgiving!